STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

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STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:46 am

Here's where progress happens.

Here’s some notes:
When raping eye contact is important.
Gang raping.
Killing them afterwards.
If leaving them alive, shave their bush off and burn all body hair, force them to take a shower with you(erotic).
Tie them up

HAHAHAHA, LOLOLOOOLOLOOLOLOLOOOLLOLLOOOL




PART 1: THE PRESSURE
BUILDING UP TO THE MAGIC MOMENT


IN THE NEED


Men are very simple creatures. There are three things a man needs to keep him happy, the three F's: fighting, ducking and feeding. If a guy can do all three at once you have a very happy man. It's a bit like the caveman mentality when dealing with the opposite sex. Too often, men try to disguise their intentions to a woman by spewing verbal bullshit to get her into bed. At Electric Retard we always cut through the bullshit and give you the quickest way to get what you want, WHAT YOU ducking NEED! Read on.




THEY ALL DESERVE THE SHIT

Joey is a 42 Year old Computer Engineer. He has no Friend's and no relatives. His only Hobby is IRC Chat and searching Porn on the Internet. He has never met a women in his whole life, even if there are women in his Company, he is full of hate, and he is full of the need to duck a women. In his desperation he only sees one solution.




PICKING YOUR TARGET


This needs to be chosen wisely. Professions are something to take into consideration. A popular fuckbuddy of choice is a nurse, they are good with their hands and know how to please. They also work quite late which means enticing them into the back of your van should be easier under the cover of darkness.




PART2: METHODS AND MAYHEM
ENJOYING EACH OTHER



TRICKS OF THE TRADE


Persuading your partner can be a challenge. A little chemical help is sometimes needed. One of our regular guide subscribers related how he helped some sweetmeat to do the right thing by slipping a little benzodiazepine into her drink. Just as she was about to pass out, he took her away from the party to a hotel room some miles away. He was able to get her in the room, throw the cat on the bed and pump her gash with his meatfeast. After a while she woke up to find a total stranger stuffing his manmeat up her shitbox. He fled the scene immediately, leaving tasty little sugartits without her clothes, a phone, money or a ducking clue where she was or who had just been inside her. LOLLOOOLOLOOOLLLOOLLOOL




SUPPRESSING RESISTANCE


Sometimes they can get a bit feisty or resistant. In such cases you have to create a diversion. For instance, a person with his leg hanging off after being hit by a bus will not be too concerned with his sniffling cold. You must use this principle when calming down your target. Perhaps if you bite a chunk out of her cheek and spit it back in her face, she will be more concerned with stopping the bleeding than preventing you putting your lust inside her.




DRILLING THROUGH YOUR BODY


It's important to get the most out of your partner. You want them to be intensely affected by this invasion so heavy breathing in their ear and kissing them so hard it hurts is important. Regular eye contact also affects them in a long lasting way, they will never forget you. Whispering sweet nothings in their ear sets the mood, "fuck with me cat and I'll knife you" is very romantic. Tieing their hands behind the back is sometimes a good idea. Thrashing around can be a good ride but a still subject will allow you to thrust deeper. When pumping the pussy, imagine you're drilling for oil, the rougher you are, the bigger the man you are and blood on your peepee is win. What about condoms? These stop us transmitting sexual diseases and block pregnancy so why bother? Besides, the feeling of your peepee rubbing the walls of a girls vagina as she screams for help is very arousing.





MY SISTER IS MY BEST FRIEND


I can remember when my mother brought my sister home. I was only five but I knew even then I would be inside her one day. I used to watch her get changed through the crack in the door, I mean if she didn't want it she would have shut the door right? It was the first time our parents went away without us and left us in the house, I was 22 and she was 17. The best thing was, I didn't have to break into the house to get to her, I just had to make my move when she was asleep. I waited till night time and then pounced. When she woke up she was tied to the bed, gagged and was looking at a knife next to my thobbing cock. I cut her nose open and stuffed my duck up her nasal cavity. There was some muffled noise coming from her, I can only guess it was words of gratitude.




TWO'S COMPANY, THREES A CROWD


Imagine three afro jungle bunnies raping the white women while they eat her alive.
It's a Ritual, celebrated to the God of Death, they believe if they don't calm him, by raping white women, a great terror will fall upon them. They use rope's on her arm's, leg's and mouth to subdue her. She's almost impaled, and they're raping her anal and vaginal territory. She cry's. A young afro boy is watching all the action, he enjoys it.





BUM FUN


Ever had a fat chick stuffed up your shit tunnel? Better still, have you ever been the one pushing your pole up some dudes crack? This maneuver can be a difficult one because your target is more likely to overpower you and prevent you recieving whats rightfully yours. You have to size up your sexual opponant. Ask yourself, if this means a bit of rough and tumble, will slapping this bitch around a little subdue him enough to get some shit on my cock. If you can do it then ducking good for you faggot, we hope you die of aids.





MOM HERE I COME!


They say the bond between a mother and son is stronger than iron. I say six inches of my pumping love muscle up between her tits is the best nights passion I've ever had. At a certain time in life you have to move your relationship up a gear. I had no idea if my mother was ready to enter into a sexual relationship with me but after I'd beaten her face in so badly where even I couldn't recognize her, it didn't matter because kissing my mother on her bleeding lips made the effort of raising my hand to her worth it. I can still taste the iron in her blood, it was wonderful.




YOUR duck IS A WEAPON


What was your childhood like? If it was anything like mine then we are talking finger, bum, bed if I was naughty. Don't think that weak little urchin will stay that way. If you are a parent who is sneaking into the kid's room for a quick session then remember these crimes will catch up with you later in life. Revenge tastes so sweet, especially when it's been brewing up for years, child abusers take note!




SAFE SEX


Sometimes after a night of fucktastic action they will act bizarrely, even going to the police for some odd reason. Practice safe sex, yes, remove all body hair and burn it. Police will attempt to get a DNA match from your cock hairs that might have fallen into her minge. Another precaution is to rip her fingernails out with some pliers to stop any of your skin DNA being collected. This will cause much pleasure, well for you anyway because to you her screams will be as lullabies to an infant. After hair and nails have been disposed of, make her take a shower with you to ensure everything is clean. This is very erotic when you are wiping her clit with drain cleaner and holding a knife to her throat in the shower. Alternatively stab her to death and burn the body.




REVENGE


Sometimes you guys might get a bit more than you bargined for. One case reported, the girl gained the upper hand. The man had got her on the floor with a knife to her throat but the girl appeared to be enjoying herself. Upon seeing this, he decided to put the knife down and pump away. Just as he was about to shoot his load up her box, he put his head back, shut his eyes and gave out a moan which ironically became his death rattle. The ducking sly bitch took the knife and cut his chick off whilst it was still inside her. Upon severing his lovetool she stood back and watched a huge spray of blood and semen. As he wormed around in his own fluids she calmly walked off to the nearest police station with his severed cock inside her as evidence of his unlawful entry.




POWER IN NUMBERS


It's always harder for the ladies to subdue a potential target due to us guys being physically stronger. If a girl tries to rape a guy, assuming he doesn't want it / is a faggot, then she will probably get her face caved in. This is where friends and body fat come in. As long as you and your co conspirator can get hold of him then all should be dandy. Use your body weight to drag him to the ground. Sit on his face whilst eating junk food for extra pleasure, just don't expect him to get a stiffy. Popular late night hunting grounds are kick out time outside nightclubs, taxi drivers and parks. If you jump a dude in a park at least his dog might gobble him off as you sit on his face. Perhaps go to the toilet on him when you've finished.




PART3: THE AFTERMATH



LEAVING THEM WITH GIFTS, I HAVE AIDS


You have now had a very intimate experience with someone. This person might try and move on with their life and forget about you afterwards, we can't let that happen, to ruin a life, is to win at life. The best thing you can do is give them your baby and, or aids. A baby is perfect because every time they look at this child, the memories of your crazed eyes staring them in the face as you invade their snatch will haunt them every day, especially if the bastard child has it's dad's eyes.




DEALING WITH THE COPS


Cop: "What were you thinking during your first Crime? Did you have any feeling's at all?"

When I made out with the first girl I instantly noticed I ducking LOVE to dominate that little whining bitch and the more she cries, the more I have to beat her.

First I was shocked about my feelings but then I noticed... It's the nature of Man... I have the need to violate... I have the need to satisfy my animalistic Instict to duck her to death. This may be shocking for you but I think even your husband has those feelings Detective Karlsen.

Cop:"I won't talk about my Personal Life in here Mr. Jason. Instead let's talk about what you have done to all those poor Women."

Well, I usually used the newspapers to make contact, I've written a small ad saying: "Cheap Cloth designs - Call 691 488 666" and started waiting... The first good meat usually appeared after 1 or 2 Weeks... I hate telling this but I only get hard by unnatural Big Tits.

Well, there she was on the Parking I told her to meet me on: "Emmingstreet Parking Slot 6"... I... I just smashed her face with my Fist during the first 5 Minutes and then took her clothes off.

Some of my meat was K-O'd after the punching... but not with my first one... She was crying and asking why I was doing this to her... I didn't answer... I was too occupied getting her clothes off and getting her to the Van I'd prepared 10 Meters away.

Cop: "What happened Inside the Car Mr Jason?"

I started beating her again, I fucked her twice... and then I cut her titties off





IN CONCLUSION


Well there we have it boys and girls. I hope like all our guides you read this and make some practical use of this information we have given you. Not all agree with our ‘no bullshit’ approach to such delicate subjects. To our critics, well, its been a pleasure doing business on you.



Last edited by jewdozer on Thu Feb 12, 2009 5:16 pm; edited 94 times in total

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by REGGIN on Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:17 pm

VICTORY OR VALHALLA!
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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by ajaa on Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:32 pm

Vernar wrote:Imagine: 3 Afro Jungle Nigger's raping the white women while they eat her alife.
It's a Ritual, celebrated to the God of Death, they believe if they don't calm him, by raping white women, a great terror will fall upon them. They use rope's on her arm's, leg's and mouth to justify her. She's almst empaled, and they're raping her anal and vaginal territory. She cry's. A young Afro boy is watching all the Action. He enjoy's it.

Vernar wrote:Joey is a 42 Year old Computer Engineer. He has no Friend's and no relatives. His only Hobby are IRC Chat's and searching Porn on the Internet. He has never meet a women in his whole life, even if there are women in his Company, he is full of hate, and he is full of the need to duck a women. In his desperation he only see's one solution.
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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by j00n4spm on Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:57 pm

hey how about the stages of rape?
1. IN THE NEED
2. THE HARD TIMES
3. REACHING FOR MORE
4. BECOMING DIRTY
5. THEY ALL DESERVE THE SHIT
6. DIRTY I´VE BECOME
7. NO MORE CONDOM!
8. I HAVE AIDS
9. DRILLING THROUGH YOUR BODY
10. SISTER IS MY BEST FRIEND
11. MOM, HERE I COME!

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:29 am

Ok I like what we have so far. I've added the progress to the OP and will continue to do so as it grows like my erection upon seeing a dead dog dried out in the sun.

The text I've added and the order is by no means final. We can mod it as we work. One thing is definite, we must make this thing more brutal as we get towards the half way-end of guide.

By the end we must have the readers staring at the screen saying out loud "WTF! OMG WHAT HAVE I JUST READ"

Joonas, the headers so far are great. We might need to to expand some of the thoughts on the first few.

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:43 am

I've added some text. If anyone wants to change it or wipe/restructure it, then post. As long as we have the best guide we can make, I don't give a duck what gets used or by who.

Post frame senario ideas, text ideas, whatever.

We also need, as Vernar said last night, a magic something that sets this guide appart from others.
Fetishes had angel frames, suicide had ratings/badges, Islam had hotlinked frames to other sites and this will have ??????

Track down the other regular artists.
Pen, RGK, HAPPY/SADMAN, PIESTAR AND THE OTHERS.

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by j00n4spm on Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:26 am

This is a win!

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by ajaa on Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:16 am

How to react if someone's trying to rape you.

ajaa wrote:when someone penetrates you, cut the cock off, then run to the police station with the cock still inside you and give it to them as an evidence.



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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:24 pm

Ok heres where I'm at. I'm not putting time into something thats just going to die. I taking 2 days off this and will see if anyone has drawn, written or made anything.

Murder guide was a waste of time I could have spent doing other things.

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by ajaa on Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:50 pm

work in progress.



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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:46 pm

ducking hell! we have a guide worthy of my ejaculation.
I better get drawing. Great work guys, the frames are the tits.
I had my eyes raped.

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by ajaa on Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:26 am

ajaa wrote:We can divide rape into several rape techiques or styles. The most popular type of rape is the old classical rape where you use your cock to abuse the victim. Then there are several other types like gangrape, prison-rape, rape using tools (or other household objects), etc.

I think we need to group the guide ino two parts:

Part 1 - Stages of rape

  • IN THE NEED
  • THE HARD TIMES
  • REACHING FOR MORE
  • BECOMING DIRTY
  • THEY ALL DESERVE THE SHIT
  • DIRTY I'VE BECOME


Part 2 - Styles of rape

  • GANGRAPE
  • USING TOOLS
  • NO MORE CONDOM!
  • I HAVE AIDS
  • CUTTING THE HOLE (this is the technique where you cut the wall which separates pussy and anus)
  • DRILLING THROUGH YOUR BODY
  • SISTER IS MY BEST FRIEND
  • MOM, HERE I COME!
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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by VaginalVernar on Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:32 am

ajaa wrote:
ajaa wrote:We can divide rape into several rape techiques or styles. The most popular type of rape is the old classical rape where you use your cock to abuse the victim. Then there are several other types like gangrape, prison-rape, rape using tools (or other household objects), etc.

I think we need to group the guide ino two parts:

Part 1 - Stages of rape

  • IN THE NEED
  • THE HARD TIMES
  • REACHING FOR MORE
  • BECOMING DIRTY
  • THEY ALL DESERVE THE SHIT
  • DIRTY I'VE BECOME


Part 2 - Styles of rape

  • GANGRAPE
  • USING TOOLS
  • NO MORE CONDOM!
  • I HAVE AIDS
  • CUTTING THE HOLE (this is the technique where you cut the wall which separates pussy and anus)
  • DRILLING THROUGH YOUR BODY
  • SISTER IS MY BEST FRIEND
  • MOM, HERE I COME!

There MUST be story's as Partner for the Frame. And then explain HOW IT'S DONE

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:53 pm

Ok I re-organized it a bit and gave it 2 parts.
I start my frames at weekend.
Banner up but i need to finish it.

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by VaginalVernar on Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:26 am

"What have you've been thinking during your first Crime? Did you have no feeling's at all?"

The first thing I noticed while my first Rape was:
I ducking LOVE to dominate that little whining bitch, and the more she cries, the more I have to beat her.

First I was shocked about my feelings, but then I noticed... It's the nature of Men... I have the need to violate... I have the need to satisfy my animalistic Instict to duck her Dead. This may be schocking for you, but I think even your husband has those feelings Mrs. Karlsen.

"I won't talk about my Personal Life in here Mr. Jason. Instead let's talk about what you have done to all those poor Women."

Well, I usually used the newspapers to get contact, I've written small contact Notice telling: "Cheap Cloth design's - Call 691 488 666" and started waiting... The first good meat usually apperaed after 1 or 2 Week's... I hate telling this, but I only get hard by unnatural Big Tits.

Well, and there was she, on the Parking I told her: "Emmingstreet Parking Slot 6"... I... I just smashed her face with my Fist during 5 Minutes and then took her clothes off.

Some of my meat was K-O after the punching... but not with my first one... She was crying and asking why I was doing this to her... I didn't answer... I was to occupied getting her clothes off and getting her to the Van I prepared 10 Meters away.

"What happened Inside the Car Mr Jason?"

I started beating her again, I fucked her twice... and then I cut her titties off

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:49 am

I rofl hard Vernar.
We could use that with the frame you did.

Introduce it as a successful story from one of our readers who got laid, he tells us how he did it.

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:04 pm

on the way>>>



Oh yes..........hot

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Sun Jan 18, 2009 11:27 am


On the way...... Any more?

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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by walterbarrett on Wed Jan 21, 2009 6:20 pm

So what is the state of the underground Electric Retard forces?
I had assumed all activity was dead but something made me check
back in.
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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:43 am

walterbarrett wrote:So what is the state of the underground Electric Retard forces?
I had assumed all activity was dead but something made me check
back in.

The state is pretty quiet at the moment. I've lost a lot of contacts when we took the site down.

The reason this thread is up is because some random guy tracks me down on the net and talks me into starting the guides up again. I make contact with a few of the old guys and here we are. There are not many of us here but I still enjoy drawing sickness so will be doing these things every once in a while. If you want to join in then as usual pick a frame. We will send it out on web as usual then I'll html it on ER guide page.

There are no plans to set up the forum as it was, it got shit.
On the way>


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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by ajaa on Fri Jan 23, 2009 2:49 pm

finished joey.




also, some sketches.





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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by Huntard on Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:46 pm

Beautiful
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Re: STOP THE TEASIN' AND START THE PLEASIN'! An Electric Retard guide to getting laid in MSpaint

Post by jewdozer on Tue Jan 27, 2009 2:10 pm

NIGGERS!


WIP

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